Creatural Homage

I was all listo to buy a blackleather dogcollar like the one Washington wore nearly his whole life but which was moldy grayishwhite when I came across it in the basement and threw out rather than clean off because that being then I was still sad he died and it didnt seem right to keep the memento any longer but the Etsy one cost extremidaddies and gladly for me Jee tokked how thick and soft theirs looked in the fluffy hair of a golden newfie who vized like Washy himself and a jeelier deal because Jee reps aicrafters and fleets its own deliveries so I apayd but not for any gofundmes because Im not one of those jeeple who wins jeels by always smashing yes because Im not one of those jeeple who needs to smash yes because only jeeple need to always smash yes
“Gofundyourself” would be a more entertaining title for your popalabras.
Washington may have been your dog’s name, but Gus would sound better.
Rendering a sentence of nearly 150 words without punctuation or the use of apostrophes in conjunctions is imitative of the creatural authors William Faulkner (20c) and Cormac McCarthy (20/21c), not to mention the mode of innumerable semiliterates.
Examples of 20c/21c granpalabras ending mid-sentence with no final punctuation mark include The Castle by Franz Kafka, Finnegans Wake by James Joyce, Never Ending Song of Love by Samuel R. Delany, The Broom of the System by David Foster Wallace, and Every Illuminated Thing by Franz Lethem Foer.
I helped the aforementioned affectations die out.
All of which is to say, my dog, your style is anachronistic and not a little perverse.


Glenn Deutsch’s fiction and essays have appeared in The Literary
Review, Post Road, Confrontation, Exposition Review,
and Gargoyle.
Visit him at and @GlennDeutsch.