Slide 1. Introduction. Teaser illustration of Bob Goreman discovering the bejeweled Bodacious Manuscript in his Idaho potato field. Goreman clutches a shovel, his face aglow in the radiance emanating from the Manuscript. Dramatic music. Narrator: “When the Moronic Angel appeared to him and instructed farmer Bob Goreman to dig up the Bodacious Manuscript in 1800-something, no one knew that the world was about to discover the Mysterious Interplanetary History of Baba Yaga and behold the True and entirely New Religion. BEEP!”
Slide 2. Illustration showing open pages of the Bodacious Manuscript in foreground closeup, with illegible shimmering text framed by multi-colored jewels. Surrounding the book are cutout faces of (clockwise, from top) the saintly witch Baba Yaga being crowned by Yeshua, the longhaired American Jesus; Bob Goreman, Idaho potato farmer; three caricatured teenage Native women reaching out to Bob Goreman with sly smiles; a crowd of bewildered townfolk. Dramatic music. Narrator: “Here you will learn some of the secrets unearthed by Bob Goreman that fateful day, secrets that quickly became the Pillars of the Church of Bob Goreman of the Genuine Authentic American Yaga. How Yeshua appeared to the Ancient Nez Perce Indians and introduced them to Baba Yaga. How Baba Yaga herself then revealed to All the People the mysteries of Loa Pygmy and Yo Gym Lap . . . Etc. . . . BEEP!”
Slide 3. Illustration of Bob Goreman dictating the contents of the Bodacious Manuscript to a wide-eyed local reporter. Dramatic music. Narrator: “Now in the actual words of Bob Goreman as recorded in his sacred journal . . . [different voice] ‘Behold I was instructed by the Moronic Angel to keep the Bodacious Manuscript away from prying eyes, to secure it within my abode, and thereto commit the Pillars of Baba Yaga to memory, to which task I devoted myself entire for some weeks thenceforth, whereupon I must then, as instructed by the Angel, destroy and dispose of the Shimmering Text such that no Other Mortal might regard it without True Understanding. Thereafter would I seek a Scribe of the People to whom I would regurgitate the Pillars from within the recesses of my mind . . . ‘ etc. etc. BEEP!”
Richard Holeton is author of the hypertext novel Figurski at Findhorn on Acid, now on the web and recently adapted as a radio play by Re-Imagined Radio, and other widely-exhibited electronic and multimedia literature. His short fiction has appeared in Indiana Review, Mississippi Review, ZYZZYVA, F(r)iction, and Litro Magazine, among other journals. His awards include fellowships from MacDowell, the National Endowment for the Arts, Dora Maar House, and the California Arts Council. A former writing teacher and administrator at Stanford University, he lives near Half Moon Bay, California. More information is available at richardholeton.org.