Michael Dwayne Smith

Grief Is a Coat

I made myself a promise: No to death in Alabama,
no Mexican divorce. No Trotsky face, despite my Frida-esque
tendencies. No more ordinary. Only strange!
Maybe I’m a missing link, maybe a commie,
but surely a noble scene sans Spandex, sans violence,
suffering from too many red tulips, not enough bites at a fresh
green apple. Alack and alas, I feel a sleep-walking mermaid
in my future. I feel my mother’s kiss and a dream shaped like
Buddhism. The question is: How do you feel?
How’s it going and do you want to talk about it?
I’ve had enough of absence. Let’s get vivid, full of oxygen—
let’s say all of us for all of us, because that bears a striking
resemblance to the life we thought we wanted.
My mother’s wild brilliant ghost keeps saying
Grief is a coat you only give away to the best of best friends.

Undisclosed

She is late for work, watches two men in the street throw tantrums as the neighbor’s dog runs circles round them. She sees a woman peering from a window. Driving, there are rabbits in the road, bellies burst, ravens hopping, pecking, beaks grasping entrails that swing behind black wings flapping as her car approaches. Lunch is a hurried bag of Taco Bell, sitting outside at a table set in hot concrete, and she closes her eyes as a taco shell crunches, feeling wet grass on bare feet, and looks up at a pale moon staring down like a diseased eye. He’s out there, somewhere, she thinks. Still working at that garage in El Monte, maybe? Still on parole, probably. Her brother is two years dead next week, perhaps still floating in the river, likely dragged out after snagging on branches from a fallen tree. There’s a swarm coming for her, she’s sure. A wasp’s nest, incensed, vengeful. Pulling into her driveway after work, the neighbor’s dog is loose in her yard, sniffing around for the black hole where she buried her heart. She watches the news, eats microwaved Thai coconut chicken, and two men, they look almost like the men from this morning, are captured on cellphone video, shooting each other with handguns— a woman in the background, gazing out a window. She dreams in unlit stillness of her brother, splashing, and there are wasps, Tarantula Hawks, multitudes bristling, surrounding them both with sound, a vibration so very much like her true name. He drowns trying to tell her a secret.

Michael Dwayne Smith haunts many literary houses, most recently Sheela-Na-Gig, ONE ART, Third Wednesday, as well as The Cortland Review, Chiron Review, Monkeybicycle, Heavy Feather Review, New World Writing, and Anti-Heroin Chic. Author of three books and a multiple-time Pushcart Prize/Best of the Net nominee, he lives near a Mojave Desert ghost town with his family and rescued horses. His latest full-length poetry collection goes from apparition to publication late 2023.