Deaf Captain Wanted

We seek to hire full-time, licensed d/Deaf captains with sailing endorsements and minimum of 20 successful Banshee Devil Sea crossings.

Must be accredited by National Oceanographic-Acoustic-Atmospheric Administration (NOAAA); International Certificate of Competence (ICC) required. Proof of deafness from certifying (medical) agency optional but recommended. Implantation by Nautilus Corp required (Med-el, Cochlear, or Advanced Bionics also acceptable). Must have no CRISPR edits.

The ideal candidate must have: acoustic-navigation and aero-hydro navigation skills; written communication skills (speech a plus but not required, as all our vessels are equipped with sign/speech decoders); mechanical and maintenance experience; and experiential knowledge of safe passage through waters infested with screaming hydrothermal vents. SCUBA skills desired but not necessary; training will be provided.

Candidates must have exemplary leadership skills, including but not limited to: the ability to calmly persuade audio-typical passengers “go deaf” by blocking their ears with wax and silicone and keeping their noise-cancelling ear-cans on at all times during the voyage; in particular, candidates must be able to positively re-direct the attentions of passengers who lament the loss of air travel and the “good ol’ days” prior to climate change and peak oil.

Candidates must have good listening skills, especially the ability to identify and record new acoustic patterns. The ability to adhere to NOAAA’s acoustical maps and also pivot quickly in the face of new acoustical patterns—and safely chart a new course—is a must.

Candidates must have current, updated wetware with mappings reflecting the latest NOAAA sea-tube acoustical charts. External hardware must be waterproof and depth-proof to at least 5 ATM. (candidates with gear pre-dating Nautilus Corp (e.g. Med-el, Cochlear Corp, or Advanced Bionics need not apply). You must supply your own charger and solar-cells.

Work Location: On any one of our fleet of charter, multi-hull catamarans.
Sail Routes: Exclusively the Banshee Devil Sea, formerly known as the Atlantic Ocean
Contract Length: Varies with length of sail; payment made upon successful docking.
Contract Renewal: Likely yes. Your successful sailing ensures your livelihood, literally.

Send inquiries and applications to:

NOAA
86 Water St
Woods Hole, MA 02543

Lex Shramko is currently working on a World War II fairytale braided from memoir and biography, set in both the past and present, about her mother, a war orphan who discovers her existence as an 85 year-old-woman. When she is not writing, she teaches philosophy and feminism. Otherwise, she is always on an adventure of traveling, biking, or scuba diving, or checking out the latest coffee shop. Preferably one with a resident cat or dog. She has published academically in Hypatia: A Journal of Feminist Philosophy, Disability Studies Quarterly, and Subjectivity. As a newly emergent creative writer, she has published recently in Moonpark Review, Gargoyle, Broadkill Review and Washington Post. She was a resident fellow at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts (VCCA)