Krenshaw’s friend, Zane Braum, was in search of an apartment to sublet in Brooklyn. Krenshaw went with him to check out a three-bedroom in Williamsburg. It was occupied by one guy and one girl, both in their twenties.
Zane rang the buzzer. The guy answered and introduced himself. He was skinny, with messy, dirty blonde hair, and a friendly, relaxed demeanor. Krenshaw and Zane took off their shoes in the foyer before turning left down a narrow hallway that led to the common area. The kitchen took up one long wall of the room, allowing for an open layout. It had all the necessary appliances, with plenty of cabinets and counter space. A minimal amount of antique furniture filled the living room and the hardwood floors creaked underfoot. The apartment was old and a bit dusty, but felt cozy and spacious, nonetheless.
Krenshaw and Zane walked back the way they came, down the hallway and into a small space next to the foyer, with more cabinets and counter space. There was even a second refrigerator.
“Wow, two kitchens. How about that?” Krenshaw asked Zane, puzzled.
“I know,” nodded Zane, excited. “It’s hard enough to find just one kitchen in New York City apartments!”
Past the second kitchen at the back end of the apartment were three bedrooms and one bathroom arranged in a semi-circle, like a cul-de-sac. Krenshaw and Zane walked into the soon-to-be vacant bedroom. It was messy, with open, half-stuffed suitcases sprawled out on the floor, but the room itself was lovely. Large by New York standards, it had clean, ivory walls and giant elegant windows taking up two whole sides of the room. All the furniture was ivory as well.
“I hope you like natural sunlight,” Krenshaw chuckled.
“Dude, I think this is pretty good,” Zane smiled.
“Let’s check out the bathroom. The ad said its newly renovated.”
Indeed, the palatial bathroom looked as if it belonged in a luxury hotel. Different than the rest of the apartment, it had white, tile floors and modern, art deco countertops. There was a small Jacuzzi perched above a set of marble stairs. The tub was half full of water and bubbles.
Krenshaw turned to Zane. “Zane, you have to take this place!”
“I know. I’m going to,” Zane replied confidently.
Zane and Krenshaw went back out into the common area where Zane chatted with the guy tenant about rent and utilities. They were getting along great.
Krenshaw noticed the girl tenant watering a series of spongy-looking plants that were spread out across the counter tops. Like her roommate, the girl was skinny and petite with pale skin and long, straight blonde hair.
“What are those things?” Krenshaw asked, nodding her head towards the slimy plants.
“They’re called gerts. Our apartment recently became infested with them. Once you’ve got an infestation, they’re extremely hard to get rid of. They multiply at rapid speeds.”
Krenshaw looked closer at the one being watered. It reminded her of the plant in Little Shop of Horrors, except there were gooey tentacles extending from its stem. Krenshaw had never seen a plant grow so fast.
“I feel bad killing them all so mercilessly,” said the girl nonchalantly. “So, I take care of them and feed them every day until they become dangerous. Then, I cut off their tentacles and let them die.” She paused, then looked out the window and reflected out loud, “They’ve become my babies.”
Krenshaw couldn’t believe this girl was nurturing an invasive pest in her own home. She noticed two baby gerts on the counter that looked like banana slugs. They were inching their way towards each other. Once they got close, they seemed to weld together to form one single gert.
Suddenly, the gert leapt up onto Krenshaw’s shirt.
Krenshaw screamed.
“Get ‘em off!!!” she cried, slapping it off with the back of her hand. The gert fell to the floor
“What are you doing!?” yelled the girl. “Don’t treat them like that! They’re living beings, just like us.” The girl reached down and picked up the gert and set it back on the counter.
“Am I contagious now?!! Do I have a case of the gerts? Will I bring with me back to my apartment?” Krenshaw demanded.
“If any of them attach themselves to you before you leave and then follow you home, then yes, you will. It’s pretty easy to get infested. Gerts stick to you like leeches and reproduce like bedbugs, only faster.”
Krenshaw looked down at her arms and saw a bunch of tiny dots. They looked like fruit flies.
“Oh man! I’ve gotta get out of here!” Krenshaw pulled them off one by one while running towards the door, hoping to God that more of them wouldn’t latch on to her by the time she left.
She ran out of the apartment only to realize she had left her purse. She went back inside, but by the time she located the purse, there were even more gerts clinging to her. She managed to get them all off again on the way to the door, but then couldn’t find her shoes. She began slipping on different pairs of flip-flops that belonged to the tenants, but none were her size.
Maybe the girl who lives here stole them, Krenshaw thought.
She snuck into the girl’s bedroom and found them hidden underneath a pile of dirty clothes and shoes.
Just then, the girl walked in.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m getting my shoes back!” shrieked Krenshaw.
“Oh, I don’t think you are!” the girl shrieked back.
She grabbed one of the shoelaces, trying to yank the shoe out of Krenshaw’s hand. They went back and forth like a game of tug of war before Krenshaw was finally able to wrench them away from the girl. She ran out of the apartment as fast as could and drove back to Bushwick.
She knew the second she walked into that apartment, it was too good to be true.
Krenshaw’s parents were visiting her in New York for the holidays. She was excited to take them to a screening of the 1996 action flick Mortal Kombat. It was one of Krenshaw’s all-time favorite movies and, despite their hesitation, her parents were kind enough to indulge her.
The screening was in Queens, and they decided to take the pedestrian underpass. Stepping onto the crossing, it morphed into a pirate ship that ran on an underwater track heading towards the realm of Outworld.
This must be some sort of Mortal Kombat simulation, Krenshaw thought. Kind of like the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios.
They arrived at their destination and Krenshaw was surprised to behold the first ever Mortal-Kombat-themed martial arts school. She had no idea this place existed. She was thrilled but had to conceal her excitement from her parents so they would think she had the situation under control and that this was the plan all along. Krenshaw didn’t like when her parents thought she didn’t have a grasp on her surroundings and needed to resort to using a compass. New York was her city. Not theirs.
The school was an enormous, converted warehouse with various rooms hosting training sessions. There was even a running track, swimming pool, and an empty room containing a single coin-operated plastic rocking horse. Most of the teachers and students were Asian, one of whom Krenshaw recognized from high school; a pretty girl named Lia Sang, who Krenshaw had recently seen at her ten-year high school reunion. She wondered if Lia was a mutual fan of the movie, or if she was just interested in learning martial arts.
“Excuse me,” Krenshaw asked a staff member. “We’re here to see the movie, not to take a class. Where are you screening the film?”
The man nodded and pointed them in the direction of the movie theater. They navigated their way over narrow bridges and curvy cliffs and finally arrived, only to be told by another employee that they had unfortunately missed the screening for that day.
Even though Krenshaw’s parents were being good sports about the whole thing, she felt bad for making them come all the way out to Queens. Krenshaw, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to come back again by herself.
