My Dad Never Said He Loved Me

He silked an ear of corn and turned over a potato leaf to show me a ladybug.
He said my brother didn’t mean what he said when I was pinned against a wall.
He built a two-story pen for my flop-eared rabbit, and a ramp with carpet.
He showed how to burn my name into slice of backyard oak.
He taught me how to sharpen a knife with flint and touch.
He shelled a black walnut beside my mother’s favorite lilac bush.
He wanted to know if he walked any differently after his stroke.
He cleaned the inside of my fishtank with a blue towel.
He helped me plant tulips on the grave of my first dog.
He showed how to throw crusted bread into the air for swooping blackbirds.
He hid orange juice in the back of the fridge, sweet and sharply cold.
He snuck money into my hand before I left, winking in the September sun.
He let me see how a Garter snake’s tongue makes ripples in a puddle.
He said he wasn’t afraid of death and brushed the dirt off a radish.

Ode to the Artichoke

Why do we labor for something
bitter and scant? Its atoms mute

and dry. I could use a heart for so much
more than siphoning blood through the body.

There would be no need to trim
the leaves or boil it upside down.

I could grasp its cords that thrum
its rhythm and use its petals

to map the way back to something
smaller and sweeter—

bursting with sugar to help us move
another summer closer to our last.

Notes from the Anne Sexton Suicide Club

1. God-wink

We all believed in the God-wink—
that’s what she called it.

The right path. The circle
of hands, eyes, breasts, and cocks.

I could ask for urge and impulse
But why here, why now?

But, there are other factors
to consider. Affairs. Will. A fish

trying to slip away from strong hands.
What a shock to not have breath

in a such a secure place.
Love is nothing personal.

The wink still breaks me
even when there is enough

good to make a baby star scream.

Jona Colson is Queer poet, educator, and translator. His poetry collection, Said Through Glass, won the Jean Feldman Poetry Prize from the Washington Writers’ Publishing House. He is also the translator of Aguas/Waters by Miguel Avero and the co-editor of This Is What America Looks Like: Poetry and Fiction from D.C., Maryland, and Virginia (2021). His poems, translations, and interviews have appeared in Ploughshares, The Southern ReviewLitHub, and elsewhere. He is a professor of ESL at Montgomery College and lives in Washington, D.C.