Gargoyle 5
cover drawing by Keith Tartler
publication date 3/18/1977

If Tybalt's Wound Had Healed

Henry Barian

When the young ones called me brother
it stuck inside my mind
and later as I draped my arm around her
in a gentle slant from the shoulder to her thigh
it seeded dreams of strange transactions
(grain and galleons
and gold
reflected in the smiles
of those boys grown tall and sly)

We used to ride together to the river
and everything I wanted then was mine
since all I wanted was to be her lover
tangled peacefully among the vines
She had capricious moods when magic pipers seemed
to play
secretly within her laugh
as one night by the sleeping church
her thoughts had danced to where
No words could say
I caught her and I held her
walls and worlds outside the altar

But the magic fell one day as words were being said
and from my side she was released in to the normal
world again
Across her heart a veil had been attached
Across her flawless face I found an almost perfect
And everything I do to please her
moves the mask and doesn’t touch her
Every time I try to love her
walls and worlds get in the way

And you my friend in silence dreaming
on the other side of nothing
does it hurt now to remember
dreams and worlds we planned together?
I wonder if I’m in your dreams
I wonder if you see
Has love run off and left me here alone
or has it only lost its way in me