Mr. Bambino

Mr. Bambino smiled expansively as he always did at the first dinner together. He looked around the big table where they dined that night. Dessert was being served. Humphrey, the maître’d, was personally officiating. Cara, Mr. Bambino’s new assistant, smiled at him.

“It’s so comforting here; a little dark perhaps, but so…” Irma observed quietly.

“We don’t want people to be too stimulated,” Mr. Bambino retorted, smiling slightly.

“So lovely, I was going to say,” Irma added, a bit hurt. She smoothed her jacket.

Flickering lugubriously, the candle flames barely illuminated the black, shadowed table around them…dark, but welcoming to the new guests. Shades silently passed in the background, murmuring low. It was pleasantly warm. But not too. The best way to find out about their stay, purging all the unwelcome actions, to later welcome…Forever, Mr. Bambino considered.

Steve asked, “Can’t we all just stay on? Change is too real, Mr. Bambino. I thought I only had a headache and then I was gone. Time is too real a passage.” Mr. Bambino smiled. His wrinkle lines were very distinct around the very riveting and sparkling black eyes, “It’s just temporary, Steve, a redoubt. The dairy will be pleased to have you.”

Steve was disappointed. He had thought he was above that.

Now Sylvester pleaded, “I understand what Steve means. Can’t we just stay on like he says? I’ve been having such a fine time. She’s so beautiful,” looking at Cara, and brushing back his silvery mane and entreating Mr. Bambino with a soulful glance.

Mr. Bambino raised his eyebrows.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Sylvester added, “she’s simply such a sweet lady. We’re past all of that! Can’t you do that for us, Mr. Bambino? Where nothing ever changes? Forever. No one ever goes away? I’ve had a rough time these last few hours. The hospital couldn’t save me. Now, I’m here.”

“It may seem Forever to you now. But then…then, then you may also have a fine surprise awaiting you…after you’ve finished at the farm in fifty years.”

Sylvester grimaced. Mr. Bambino added, “It’s not so bad. A half hour a day. Have the rest of you gotten your assignments, by the way?”

“Yes, yes,” the group moaned, practically in unison.

“I have to clean toilets, Mr. Bambino,” Irma pouted. “Why do we need toilets here? That’s what it says on this fancy stationary. For a millennium? Ridiculous! That can’t be right, it’s a typo. A joke maybe? So silly. I was a nice lady before the accident. I’m still a nice lady.”

“Time passes, Irma; it’s a small assignment, a few minutes a day,” he paused, “things happen. They understand. You were only human, as they say. You’re here to move on. I can ask about your assignment. Would you prefer something in the kitchen?”

Sylvester practically pleaded, “But can’t we stay with everything just as it is? No changes. Everything that we always thought would be the same. Forever? Can’t it be the same, Mr. Bambino? Is that too much to hope for? I’ll do anything you ask at the farm or wherever, just for it to stay the same?”

“You’re actually in a good place, Sylvester. Forever is just slightly delayed.”

Cara jumped in and whispered at the table to the group, “I love working in the evenings here. Around midnight the moonlight makes the walls of my office glow. Mr. Bambino always lets us stay after hours. We had a cookout last night. I love working for Mr. Bambino. I never feel like I need to be anywhere else. Or go anywhere else. Ever again.”

“That was the Master’s gift to you Cara. It’s not the same for everyone,” Mr. Bambino reminded her.

Sylvester murmured, “Sounds like she’s in Heaven.” Mr. Bambino looked pleased. “My life is filled with mirrors,” Mr. Bambino stated proudly, “all of my guests emerge changed from what is reflected in them by another.”

They all then rose and stepped out of the heavy double wooden door replete with Mayan carvings: The day was dawning; the grass wet with a light rain. Suddenly they saw Stan; his naked feet were wet. He realized he was in his pajamas. The light came from behind the house. And then, the front door opened. It was his wife.

“It’s a new day, Maria.”

“It is Stan. What are you doing?”

“Walking in the sweet grass. We have to live for that happy day. Now and Forever. You and me and my darling Lorna and everyone else. Mr. Bambino told me that. He can vouch for that,” Stan smiled. His mood was better now. He’d forgotten about drowning; himself, darling Maria and dear Lorna. Unfortunate, but he knew wonderful would be Forever.

Cara dreamily spoke on, “I had worked New Year’s Eve on Earth and it was magical. We had lines of people with carts full of holiday food and old-looking decorations that management put up. That was the night I was hit by the car. When I came here,” Cara explained, “just like Stan and his family.”

“It is a shrine to many, Cara, waiting…waiting…waiting…with their assignment and for those others who have found final happiness. As you have. Straight to the summit.”

“Hell is other people, isn’t it, Mr. Bambino?”

Mr. Bambino momentarily lost his calm, “Hush, Cara! We never name that place. It’s not even close to here. Only the purging and Paradise. For those unsuitable, we have that space for them…away…away…”

“I love you, Mr. Bambino,” Cara gushed. Lorna smiled. Sylvester grinned as did Stan. Irma looked sad, “A millennium. But just a few minutes a day cleaning toilets. How strange.”

Mr. Bambino paused and closed his eyes. His time with the group had ended. He had his work to do. All those hundreds of thousands of arrivals daily and their assignments. His own assignment lasted a few centuries more and then he’d have Forever.

But he had many, many assistants…

Mr. Bambino opened his eyes, ready for the next group.

Egon Baxter writes “literary,” mystery, and humorous fiction as well as ghost stories. He has lived in Boston, Athens and Amsterdam and has stopped riding horses. His prose has been described by one editor as, “Richly atmospheric, minutely imagined/observed/realized – the prose of another generation.”