Everyone knows it is customary, when you are new to a big small mountain town like Enormity, to promptly notify local men of the size of your cock, as a courtesy, so they can double down on their efforts to hold onto the local women. There are several ways you can promote your potential contributions to the community, effectively upsetting the way things are supposed to be: Visit the Sunday brunch café where mimosas are always on discount and patrons are always amenable even though the night before there was conflict at the dive bar. (Discounted mimosas are for more than soothing hangovers; they are for mending fences.) If your cock is truly something, then you will take the opportunity to offer your services to the café. You already have a reputation around town for being the Don Juan of lime wedges and hot sauce. They are already talking about the children you will sire, a beautiful brown-eyed girl & a boy, who will never truly know you but that’s how the story goes in big small mountain towns like Enormity. If you’re not from here then you’re not from here but we will gladly take from you and then accuse you of stealing. Now: If you are not a man and are alone and new to the town, you need the biggest cock of all. This is all true,
I swear!