Every time I send an email or write a report, I do so in fear because of the other four-letter word: TYPO.

I place a high value on the beauty of words and always wonder what typo is lurking somewhere.

I use spellcheck, Grammarly … I look up words online and even keep a dictionary and thesaurus next to me, but homophones can be tricky.

I lose sleep worrying about typos. They make me feel inept and sloppy. I don’t think I’m alone in that, but, when it happens, I’m very much alone.

My TYPO phobia took root when I was hired by an Atlanta search firm to handle their computer network.

Their bread-and-butter client was Lanier Copiers.

The Laniers have a long history in Georgia – with schools, churches and even a lake named after them – true, it’s a man-made lake and, also true the once thriving Black community of Oscarville lies at its bottom, but, still, it was Lanier.

One day my VP called me into his office and told me I was going to do a full page, trade magazine copier ad.

“You can spell, you’re good with words,” he said.
“But I don’t have any design experience.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he countered, “neither does anyone else.”

Admittedly, I was flattered, and I was good with words.

The advert message was “When it Comes to Document Solutions Lanier Counts”. They sent assets including an image of a slim, young white woman in a tightly cut IBM-style dark blue suit complemented by a white v-neck and stiletto heels.

With the deadline met and the ad submitted, I waited for my VP to call and shower me with accolades. I envisioned a raise or at least a bonus.

In his office, he handed me a copy of the ad and it was only then that I found myself staring at 2 inch high, Arial Black letters which read, “Lanier Cunts.”

I felt faint.

“Do they know?”
“Yes,” he said sternly, offering nothing else.
“OK, I’ll fix it and clear out my office.”

Attempting to stifle a laugh he said, “They’re having it framed. And, yes, fix it.” I could still hear him guffawing through the closed door.

I’ll tell you that I drop the “r” when typing your and that I have a hard time with “commitment” – in writing and in life.

I misuse “its” (singular possessive) for “it’s” (apostrophe S) but I’ve never left the “O” out of COUNT again…unless, of course, it was intended.